When the topic turns to sperm donation or child support, many people feel that “relationships based on money seem somehow cold” or “it feels too business-like, and I don’t like that.”
Especially in Japan, whenever the topics of “money,” “family,” and “children” come up together, there’s a sense that it’s somewhat of a taboo.

But are the interactions actually taking place on the ground really “cold relationships”?
I believe that a system like the one I’m involved in—where support continues in the form of child support—is not cold, but rather embodies a “quiet warmth.”

In this article, I’d like to set aside the assumption that “relationships based on money are cold” for a moment and take a fresh look at the meaning and warmth found in relationships built on ongoing support, as described at
.

Why Do We Feel That “Money = Cold”?

To begin with, why do we tend to feel that “connections based on money = coldness”?
One reason is that there’s a strong perception that “money = gain and loss.”
Work, contracts, business… all of these give the impression of being “worlds where numbers take precedence over emotions.”

Another reason is that the belief that “the things that truly matter can’t be bought with money” is half true.
Love, a sense of security, trust.
These things can’t be obtained with money alone.
That’s precisely why I think people worry that “when money is involved, our true feelings and warmth might be lost.”

In reality, however, there are many situations in our daily lives where money and warmth coexist.
Financial support from parents, money sent to family members living far away, scholarships, donations, and crowdfunding.
While all of these involve “money,” they are driven by the desire to “cheer someone on” or “support them.”

In other words, although there is a perception that “money = cold,”
in reality, “moments when feelings are conveyed through money” are already an integral part of our daily lives.

What “Connecting Through Money” Means in My Work

It’s not just about sperm donation;
it is based on the premise that support will continue afterward in the form of child support.

The key point here is that this is not based on a hierarchical mindset where “paying money makes you superior” or “receiving money makes you inferior.”
Rather,
“With the child at the center, those who are able provide support in whatever way they can,”
and child support is simply one of the ways this division of roles is carried out.

The provider continues to offer quiet support through monthly payments while going about their daily life.
The recipient incorporates this support into their daily life while taking responsibility for the child’s upbringing.
Even if they never meet in person or have few opportunities to speak,
the numbers appearing in the bank account become a sign that says, “I’m still thinking of you and your child.”

The money used here is not meant to “cut ties,” but rather to “maintain a close yet lasting connection.”
In that sense, far from being cold, money can be described as “a tool for supporting one another while maintaining a comfortable distance.”

Money connects us not through emotions, but through a sense of security.

The greatest benefit of consistent child support payments is a sense of “peace of mind,” rather than emotional comfort.

With a fixed amount coming in every month, the recipient can:
・Pay rent and utility bills without delay
・Consistently provide for their children’s meals, clothing, and medical care
・Stay relatively calm and handle unexpected expenses

This makes it easier to lay the groundwork for your daily life.

When financial worries ease even a little, you gain some peace of mind.
That peace of mind is sure to be reflected in your child’s expressions and your daily conversations.
While “money itself” doesn’t convey love,
it certainly helps create an environment where love can be properly expressed.

In my work, I consciously incorporate this role of “creating peace of mind” into the system.
It is neither a situation where the provider bears the burden alone, nor one where the recipient must endure it alone.
The child support model is a concrete way of providing practical support that puts the child at the center.

The Feelings of Those Who Continue to Provide Support

I’d also like to touch on the perspective of the payer.

When people hear the phrase “paying money,” they tend to think only of a sense of obligation or burden, but
in reality, there’s more to it than that.

・I want to continue quietly acknowledging the lives I’ve been a part of
・Even from a distance, I want to fulfill my responsibilities in whatever way I can
・When my child learns the truth in the future, I want to be someone who can hold my head high

It is precisely because of this mindset that some people view their monthly payments not as a “burden,” but as
“a continuous act of choice.”

Of course, since we’re only human, there are times when we feel overwhelmed.
During periods when work isn’t going well or when unexpected expenses pile up,
you might find yourself feeling anxious and wondering, “What should I do?”

Even so, it’s important to pause for a moment, adjust the amount, and reconsider the timeframe while searching for “
” “a way to continue within the limits of what’s possible”—
That process itself is already an act of “facing up to one’s responsibilities.”

My support model serves as a space where we can acknowledge those fluctuations and moments of uncertainty,
and work together to find a way to continue that feels sustainable.

The recipient's feelings also fluctuate.

On the other hand, the recipient of child support also has mixed feelings.

While some people feel relieved,
others wonder, “Is it really okay to rely on others this much?” or feel guilty.
In Japanese culture, in particular, there is a strong sense that “receiving money = feeling indebted,”
so even as they feel grateful, they may also feel a sense of guilt.

However, from the perspective of protecting children’s well-being,
this child support is not a “financial transaction between adults,” but rather “a resource to support children’s rights.”
It is by no means a bad thing for the recipient to avoid shouldering the burden alone and to rely on social systems and support from others.

In fact, the ability to accept support in a healthy way is directly linked to a child’s sense of security.
Rather than a parent “shouldering everything alone and suffering,”
the image of a parent “moving forward while receiving the help they need”
is far healthier for the child in the long run.

Models like me have a role to play in ensuring that recipients don’t end up feeling only “guilt” (
), and in making it easier for them to accept support through a “systematic support framework” (
).

Changes that can't be measured in monetary terms quietly accumulate.

On the surface, child support is often discussed in terms of a specific monthly amount.
However, as time goes on, invisible changes accumulate behind that number.

・Having a clearer picture of your daily life makes it easier to plan for the future
・Knowing that you’re not alone helps you stay resilient
・You’ll gradually find it a little easier to interact with your children with a smile

None of these changes can be bought with money alone.
However, they are also changes that would never have been possible without the tool of money.

The same is true for those who continue to provide support.
As they continue to make their monthly payments,
they begin to feel a growing sense of, “This is how I’m contributing to the world.”
It’s not self-satisfaction, but rather a quiet sense of self-worth.

While financial transactions can be recorded in numbers,
the sense of security, peace of mind, and deep trust that result from them cannot be fully measured by numbers alone.
Yet they are undeniably there.

"Quiet Examples" That Are Reshaping Society's Values

The kind of work I do isn't exactly flashy.
It may not often make headlines or go viral.

However, each act of support that quietly continues is gradually rewriting the old perception that “
” “relationships based on money are cold.”

・The person who provided the support continues the relationship without walking away
・The recipient feels that “it was because I received help that I was able to move forward”
・When that child learns about their roots and the support they received in the future,
they will be able to recognize that “someone cared about me.”

As these individual stories accumulate,
the perception that “money is cold” begins to take on a different form.

Money can be cold, but it can also be warm.
What matters is “why, for whom, and how you use it.”

In closing: It is precisely because we are connected by money that there are things we can protect.

Are relationships based on money really that cold?

When I look at the kind of support I provide,
what I see isn’t some flashy drama, but
a quiet determination to “continue doing the same thing every month, calmly yet sincerely.”

As these resolutions accumulate, children’s lives are protected,
the recipients feel a little lighter, and the providers themselves come to accept the fact that they are “continuing to be involved.”

Money cannot replace love or family ties.
However, it can serve as a “tool for giving tangible form to love and responsibility.”

Relationships built on money can become as cold as you want them to be, depending on how you handle them.
But just as much, depending on how you handle them, they can also become surprisingly warm.

Initiatives like mine are an effort to gradually chip away at the stereotype that “money is cold,” as described here:
.
And I believe that from those cracks,
a new set of values will emerge—one that cherishes “supporting others,” “sharing,” and “taking ongoing responsibility.”